


How To Have Fun

by Faerietty



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Gen, Hero's Journey Archetype, because this was an assignment, i just used them for their easy stagenames, idk - Freeform, kinda satire, maybe 16 or 17 y/o, mentions underage drinking, so my teacher read it, they're both supposed to be younger than they are irl in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 08:08:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5084497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faerietty/pseuds/Faerietty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hoshi is bored and hopes his cousin, Woozi, will play along with his antics.<br/>Woozi is the responsible one who thinks it's a bad idea... Kinda.</p><p>[originally posted on AFF]</p>
            </blockquote>





	How To Have Fun

**Author's Note:**

> please excuse the use of their stagenames in this setting - it's to keep it simple for my teacher.

“That’s  _illegal_ ,” Woozi’s airy tone whipped through the previously serene state of his bedroom. The only sounds the faint humming of his PC, the frequent clicking of the mouse, and those other noises one only hears at night when ears are trained to hearing the murderers waiting in places they can’t be in during the day.

“I’ll do it by myself, then,” Hoshi half-spat, wrinkling his nose and shooting a glare through the back of his cousin’s head.

“Brutal,” Woozi muttered, his stern expression hardening ever more as he rolled his eyes upwards at the thought of leaving his peaceful, ordinary world of slashing enemies and gathering resources. Then he added, barely louder, as he swung his leg not-so-gracefully over his chair to rest his chin on the back of it, “You don’t have to break rules to have fun.”

“And I’m sure you’re just bursting with ideas,” Hoshi sneered, pushing himself from the door he had plastered himself against previously. He had successfully reached Woozi’s room without being caught just moments before. They were supposed to be sleeping – not that either of them would actually sleep before at least 11pm anyway – and that meant Hoshi was supposed to be in  _his_ room, the guest room, not Woozi’s bedroom. Hoshi clambered down onto his hands and knees, pressing his cheek to the floor in a ridiculously awkward position to try and peek under the door. “No lights yet, all clear.”

“You’re being serious.” Woozi stated in resignation, to which he got a scoff of ‘of course’ in reply. What little faith Woozi had had in being able to spend the night calmly attacking Zerg bases until he got too tired had gone out the metaphorical window. He didn’t have to ask because he knew his cousin too well to doubt that he hadn’t already convinced himself that this was a spectacular idea. Hoshi was just  _full_ of those. All the time. Just a constant stream of  _brilliance_ from a well-travelled mentor of mischief _._ And Woozi was called to join the adventure every time. Woozi reached behind him, troubled scowl on his face as he closed the lid of his laptop where he had paused his very intense game of StarCraft.

Hoshi sprang back up to his feet, his eyes perfectly slanted in glee like the hands on Woozi’s tiresome analogue wall clock at that moment – 10:10 – as he grinned at his cousin. “You interested now?” Without waiting for so much as a peep – Hoshi liked to think he knew his cousin as well as his cousin knew him – he wrapped his fingers around the doorknob, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Woozi knew that they were about to begin the sneaking process.

And that was how the two boys found themselves crouching behind the island bench of Woozi’s father’s pristinely cleansed kitchen – in virtual darkness save for the orange glow stinging through the cold-fogged window from the street lights outside, casting ominous shadows throughout the room where the only other form of light was the vibrantly incorrect time displayed on the microwave up on the bench above their heads. Hoshi had the audacity to nudge Woozi, daring him to take the plunge; to conquer the next stage of this quest he’d suggested. Woozi just nudged him right back, still eyeing the empty doorframe which connected to the black abyss of the hallway leading to the bedrooms. Hoshi rolled his eyes, excited grin still embedded into his cheeks as he scooted backwards to sit more comfortably cross-legged and allow for the small, off-limits pantry to swing open quite easily.

Woozi, defiance rushing through his skin at how easy the cupboard had opened, glanced away from the doorway and plucked a bottle of Whiskey, Peppermint Schnapps, and his father’s favourite: Baileys, out of the confines of this forbidden-for-children section of his home. As he scrambled to his feet, Hoshi got up too, amused glint in his eyes as he held out a hand to help carry the booze. Truth be told, they hadn’t thought this far yet. Woozi knew this, of course. As with all of Hoshi’s ingenious ideas came the massive gaps in the actual execution of said plan – such as where they were planning on taking all of this liquor. Hoshi seemed to realise the raging hole in his plan as soon as he had taken the Baileys from Woozi, because he stilled quite suddenly and Woozi thought his constant gaping – as he went to speak, only to close his mouth again – made an excellent fish impersonation. Woozi smiled sardonically at his cousin, “Luckily for you,” he whispered, “I-”

He cut himself off at the tell-tale squeak of rusty hinges. Hoshi’s eyes widened dramatically. Someone else was awake. Woozi wasted an excruciatingly precious moment just waiting. Waiting to be caught. Waiting to be scolded, grounded, maybe yelled at for a while. But then Hoshi was grabbing one of the bottles and dragging him by the elbow of his pyjama sleeve to hide against the wall right beside the doorway. He seemed to have a much greater grasp of what to do in such situations, but Woozi knew he was forgetting something important. He bumped the whiskey against Hoshi’s arm to gain the boys attention and gave him a frantically pointed look, motioning back to the island bench.  _We have to put all of this back!_

Hoshi just quirked an eyebrow at him and turned back to the doorframe – where a pair of glowing eyes locked with his. He took a step back into Woozi, arms tensed in front of him, gripping the Baileys to his chest as though it were a shield. There’s a faint clunk as the hallway shifts into darkness once again. There’s a breath against the back of his neck that Woozi must have been holding in and he lurches forwards. Woozi whispers to him, oblivious to the eyes Hoshi had seen, “I think it was my mum. She stays up reading before bed. She’s in the bathroom now, isn’t she? We probably have ages, she’s got a whole skin routine to get through.”

Hoshi wanted to screech back at him ‘why didn’t you mention that before?’ before he realises that he knew that too. He knew it. He knew it and he was too stupid. But now there’s something else down that hallway, and he’s definitely  _not_  too stupid to go walking right toward it in the dark. No matter how much he didn’t want to get caught by his Aunt while misbehaving under her roof, her wrath was a known topic. The wrath of whatever, whoever, was in that hallway was  _unknown_. “Turn the light on, Woozi,” he says, his voice shaking as he watched the looming shadow right near the darkest end of the hallway seem to grow before his eyes.

“No! What good would that do?!” Woozi whispers back, scoff evident in his voice as he steps away from the wall to stretch the muscles which had cramped in both concentration and fright.  Hoshi grapples for Woozi’s shirt, arm, anything to pull him back. But it was too late. It plummets towards them. Hoshi whimpers, covering his face with his arms and ducking into himself. But nothing painful happens. Nothing heavy hits him, touches him, he hears nothing. Except for Woozi whispering profanities.

“Bloody  _cat_ , I thought you were supposed to be able to see in the dark, why’d you run straight into me for?”

Hoshi’s eyes snap open and he just stares through the liquid in the bottle at the disgustingly harmless cat curling itself loftily around Woozi’s legs. He seethes out a shaky breath, lowering the bottle from his face. Woozi steps around the cat, still half-hearted reprimanding at it as though it were jotting down his words for later study.

“C’mon, Hoshi, stop just standing there. I’m not entirely sure how long mum will be in the bathroom,” he whispered urgently, “we need to put this back how we found it.”

But Hoshi looked at him as though he had said something utterly scandalising. “Put it  _back_? After everything we’ve been through?”

Woozi snorted, “You say that as though we went on some perilous quest to get here.”

“Your mum almost caught us!”

“ _Your Aunt_  reminded me that this was a terrible plan to begin with. I’m tired, Hoshi. I’m tired, and I paused my game to come risk my arse entertaining  _you_  because you were  _bored_.”

Hoshi squared his jaw, glaring across the room at the cat, which had jumped on top of the counter under the glow cast down from the window as he licked his paw. He’d feel even more stupid to give up now. His pride has been hurt enough already.  He’d forgotten to think through his plan. He’d forgotten that Woozi’s mum wouldn’t be asleep yet. He’d forgotten that Woozi owned that freaking cat. Stopping now would be forgetting how to have fun. “I’ll drink it myself.”

Woozi let out a short, succinct sigh, as though he knew this was the best he could hope for. “Good, ‘cause I’m going back to my room.”

“See if I care,” Hoshi shot back, more so on instinct of argument flow than because he actually wanted Woozi to think he didn’t care.

“You should care, but you’re stupid so you don’t.”

Hoshi scowled at him, eyebrows furrowing as he whispered to himself, “I’m  _not_  stupid.” But Woozi had had enough. He shoved the whiskey and peppermint schnapps into Hoshi’s chest and waited only until the other boy had fumbled them into a semi-safe grip before he stalked back into the ominously shadowed hallway.

Back in the safety of his own room, Woozi plonked down into his desk chair and was about to open his laptop again. He was going to open the laptop and resume playing StarCraft, at least to finish that level before he would probably go to bed. He wasn’t lying when he had said he was tired. Being almost caught in the act of stealing substance currently illegal to him had made his head pound and go through six hours’ worth of thoughts in the span of barely thirty seconds.  _Stupid Hoshi and his stupid so-called ‘fun’. Stupid Hoshi and his stupid stubborn stupidness. Stupid Hoshi and-_

_Oh no..._

Stupid  _Woozi!_

He’d forgotten an important part of his mother’s night time routine! And sure enough, he could hear the clicking of the bathroom light being turned off as she left the room, not to go back to bed- but to go straight into the kitchen.  _If Hoshi isn’t a complete dumbo, he’ll have at least gotten out of there by now..._ Woozi reasons, frantically trying to convince himself that he doesn’t need to continue being involved in Hoshi’s flawed plotting. But the longer he waited, the more lights he heard his mother turn on. And he heard the drawer she opened to get the cigarettes. Her slightly heavier footsteps as she gets less worried about trying to keep quiet for those who might be sleeping. She’d be heading right out to the tiny back veranda. The only place Hoshi would have gone to try and become inconspicuous to anyone inside who was awake.

_Darn it._

Woozi jumped nearly halfway across his room to latch back onto the doorknob. But he had no plan! How was he going to be able to help Hoshi at all? Unless he performed some miracle sprinting (that he definitely wasn’t capable of) he wouldn’t make it outside in time to jump the railing with Hoshi and hide effectively. If he was caught in the process of any of that impossible running it was instant failure. Instant game over. This Zerg base was decidedly more difficult to conquer than any he’d seen before. This one didn’t have a pause button. He had no time to think of stupid strategies!

Mission: Distract Mother, Save Hoshi.. Start!

He wrenched open the bedroom door, almost stumbling out when he tried to catch his too lively movements. He wasn’t supposed to be awake right now. So what if he  _was_ asleep up  _until_  right now..? Just as his mother came out of the kitchen, rolled cigarette in hand, Woozi slumped his posture, relaxed his expression, and took a false step towards the bathroom before pretending to just notice that she was there, staring at him.

“Mum,” Woozi croaked out, throat conveniently dry to provide that extra realism, and heart rate pounding in his ears as he struggled to create an effectively tired tone of voice.   _Please don’t turn off the wi-fi for a month…_ He begged silently, too frightened to imagine how many other inhumane punishments his mother could probably think up.

 “Oh, did I wake you up?” Surprised. No suspicion, yet.

“Nah… I- uh.”  _Hoshi has Dad’s Baileys and I figured that was kinda a terrible idea so I’m here to distract you even though Hoshi doesn’t know I’m distracting you so he can run away._ He swallowed the dry lump in his throat. “I needa use the loo.”

She seemed only mildly suspicious. “Well, you hurry up and get back to sleep. You should have gone before bed time, sweetheart,” she frowned and patted his arm as she moved past him towards the outside.

“I know, mum, sorry, I was just  _so_  tired…” Woozi tried to peer past his mother to the glass doors that lead out to the veranda. If Hoshi hadn’t gotten out of there by now… Woozi’s eye twitched as he saw a shadow across the curtain of the veranda. “Mum! Wait!”

She paused, and might have sighed in irritation. “Yes?”

“I…” in a rush of thoughts Woozi tried to think of the least damaging thing to say, but what came out was probably the last thing on the list of inconspicuous sentences. “I love you, Mummy!”  _oh my gosh…_  Woozi wanted to delete those words from the atmosphere as soon as they’d left his tongue. They were true, but they were  _too_ true. And definitely not the kind of thing Woozi would say in any casual unsuspicious situation. But the moment had passed, the deed was done, and he could only try and justify his words with a very intelligent ‘Really!’ and a very stingy one-sided hug.

“Oh…?” His mum exchanged her lighter into the same hand as the cigarette packet to pat Woozi’s back. “Are you okay? Are you sick?”

Woozi reared back from the awkward hug, peering up at his mother through his fantastically messy – from all that action, but Woozi can pretend it’s from sleep –  fringe, with a betrayed pout. “I just wanted to say it for once.”

His Mother hummed, distractedly, glancing at the veranda. “You’re acting very strange, Woozi, go back to bed quickly, you might be coming down with something.” She eyed him, definitely about 20 times more suspicious now, ruffling his hair fondly before she turned to go outside.

Woozi pretended to continue into the bathroom until he was sure his mother was seated outside. Until he was sure there was no surprise reprimanding for illegal alcohol consumption  _and_ bed time abuse being directed at any cousin of his. After a few daring moments of silence, Woozi lets himself relax slightly once more, slinking back over to his bedroom, wincing at the thought that maybe he should try and sneak Hoshi back inside through a window or the front door or something.

But just as he pushed  _those_ thoughts out of the way, an infuriatingly relieving bleached blonde head of hair came into direct view. Attached to a particular cousin of Woozi’s. Woozi whined, “Ho _shi_!”  It took the remainder of his manliness to not start sobbing as the other boy turned around to blink at him stupidly.

Hoshi squinted at him, cocking his hip the side and leaning his arm exaggeratedly against the doorframe of his bedroom as he blinked pettily. “Why’re you out here? I thought you woulda been in bed by now.”

“Hoshiiiii,” was all Woozi managed to reply, voice turning from weakly relieved to ferocious in milliseconds. He brought his hands up to pretend to tensely squeeze the boy a few steps away from him, fingers cramping in each joint as the waves of relief dunked him over and over into the rough sand that was his barely unsuspicious conversation he’d had with his mother - all for the sake of  _this_ kid! This kid that wasn’t even out where he was supposed to be! He was supposed to be about to get caught! Woozi was supposed to be listening to deafening lectures through the safe walls of his bedroom after Hoshi gets caught all by himself. But  _no_.

“Your mum was right, Woozi, you seem unwell. Look! You’re shaking!” Hoshi blabbered, a smug grin shadowed behind the hallways deep blanket, but Woozi knew it was there. He didn’t even have to ask Hoshi to know that he had heard everything, that he wasn’t outside at any point during Woozi’s heroically terrible efforts of distraction, and that Woozi had ultimately made the stupidest decision of the night regardless of every part of it starting with Hoshi.

In his helpless rage, Woozi constructed another on-the-spot sentence. In comparison to the last, this one wasn’t true, but he said it more often than not, spitting it at his cousin as he rips his bedroom door open to retreat into the mellow misery of entering cheat codes every so often to keep his resources from getting too low back in his game. “We aren’t friends.” Behind this blatantly meaningless lie, and behind the door he’d shut before he could hear Hoshi’s laughter louder than he needed to,  Woozi figured admitting he expected too much of himself was the first step. Just like his need for the cheat codes when the level got too fast, Woozi had needed the cheat codes his mischief mentor cousin Hoshi was offering him.

Or maybe he just needed to learn how to say no the first time and stop worrying about whether Hoshi was going to get in trouble by himself or not.

Either way, Woozi was going to use his guitar like a baseball bat on Hoshi tomorrow morning. Because right beside his laptop, on his desk, in his bedroom, there was a familiar shaped bottle with a laughably make-shift label stuck on the front. ‘Elixir’ it read. And behind it, Woozi knew it also said ‘Baileys’ and presence of the bottle in and of itself whispered ‘the adventure isn’t over’.


End file.
